Anger and kids: What do I do when I feel I'm about to blow my top?

     


 With kids, anger is GOING to happen. You are going to get frustrated. You are going to get super pissed when they throw the eggs and cheese you JUST cooked on the floor instead of eating it. It is impossible to be a parent and not get angry. So what do you do when those moments happen?

• Get away!--If it's safe to leave your child alone for a few moments, walk away. The Bible tells us to flee from temptation and not to sin in our anger. If you can't leave the room, turn your back if possible. If there's another parent or adult home, ask them to take over. You need a moment to decompress and decide how to respond so that you can be the parent you want to be. 
• Remind yourself that this is a child-- They are not going to act like an adult. They are learning about everything in the world, including how to behave.

• Remind yourself that they are learning from you-- If you consistently blow your top when you get angry, just wait to see how incredibly earth-shaking those temper tantrums will become!
• Pray--Call out to God and tell Him how angry you are. Ask Him for patience and strength. He is your best ally. 
• Try to remember the big picture--will this event matter tomorrow? Next month? Next year? When viewed in this context, the little things that make us angry get a whole lot smaller. 
• Hold onto the love you have for your child
• Teach yourself to pause and consider before reacting--Many of us had explosive parents, and our go-to response is to be explosive. Try to take a moment to collect yourself, and be intentional with how you respond to your children. 
• Don't give up!--Changing your response consistently will take time. Rome wasn't built in a day. Even if you felt that you did a terrible job today, if you keep trying, you will eventually succeed. Remember that the only way to truly fail is to quit trying. You are learning a new skill, you will get this. 

I hope that these tips will help you to have a better relationship with your kids, and yourself. Remember that kids are learning from you, so the best thing you can do is treat yourself kindly. If you make a mistake, apologize to them, and then try again tomorrow. They will respect the effort. Kids are cool like that. :) 

                                                                                       Speaking the truth in love, 

                                                                                                       Lorraine